Perception is . . .

The author of another I blog I read wrote about her experience with a mom she perceived to be affluent and uncaring for her child . . . the mom was at Starbucks with three kids, one throwing a temper tantrum the entire time. Comments enused . . . a back and forth between bloggers, assuming that the mom was uncaring, unloved, and spoiled . . . the child the same. I have been troubled by this blog . . . for in describing the scenario, I could see myself.

I guess what troubled me so much were the assumptions about the woman. Just because someone is wearing nice clothes, driving a nice car and visiting a nice Starbucks in a nice part of town with a child throwing a tantrum, doesn't mean they are miserable and a bad parent. And one doesn't have to be of limited means to teach their children values, manners and the like.

Maybe the mom just needed to get out of the house for a while for her own sanity . . . even though she knew that one of her kids was out of sorts. Maybe she chose the local Starbucks because she could visit with her friend for a bit, but not worry about ordering lunch and having to leave before it arrived because of an upset child. Maybe she chose the local Starbucks because many patrons come in, get their fix, and leave . . . and an upset child won't be a monstrous distraction to most. Maybe she wanted to meet at Starbucks and not at her house, even though it would have been easier to have the kids at home, because she just needed a change of scenery, even if for only a few minutes. Been there, done that, all of the above.

Maybe her son has some challenges, and while they are working on them, he sometimes comes across as rude or otherwise troublesome. But it's really of no one else's concern, and she shouldn't have to explain him to everyone on the street. Maybe others don't understand that she's not really ignoring him, or isn't uncaring. Maybe more public exposure is what the son needs to learn to live in his environment. But once again, he made a scene. And maybe she goes home and cries in her loving husband's arms because of the love they have for their son, and the struggles they know he faces. And they feel helpless. Google "scensory processing disorder" or "the out-of-sync child" and maybe you'll gain some insight. Been there, done that.

Maybe she isn't over-cocktailed or over-medicated. Maybe she has a great marriage, a wonderful husband, and faith in a God who will comfort and protect her, and faith in a Holy Spirit who will shower the family with love, strength and the power to endure. Been there, done that . . .

Maybe we shouldn't be so quick to judge . . .