Play Group Failure

The start of the play group did not go well. There were supposed to be four of us, but the woman who was to lead the group really did not have a child to fit the age group (born in 2004) - it had been a typo that led to her being named leader. Being the one who is always willing to step up to the plate, I offered to have the first play group at our house.

But now what was I supposed to do? I contacted the other two moms . . . and then panicked. Was I supposed to have food? What if no one showed up? I decided I would have bagels and coffee. I don't think I slept much the night before - I've been less stressed out arguing in front of a judge. The morning of our first play group, I went out early and bought bagels. I brought out the rarely used coffee maker - we just never make it at home. I moved the family room table to create a play area. And then Sam and I waited.

The other two moms arrived . . . first hurdle overcome. But from the start, the chemistry wasn't there. I am at least ten years older than the other two . . . and I am the only one with other children. No one ate or drank anything. One mom, after about 45 minutes, announced she had somewhere else to be. But we agreed to get together again . . . I was disappointed, but thought maybe that's what play groups are like. Maybe I expected too much . . .

So we did get together, two weeks later, and this time we added another mom and baby. Londa had heard about us at church, and called me - I liked that she took the initiative to seek us out. The second play group was not too bad, but again, was somewhat forced. By the third get together, we were getting last minute cancellations, or cancelling all together.

I was sooooo frustrated. All I wanted was to be in a play group - how come I can't make it work? I wanted/needed that adult interaction . . .

After a few more weeks, another mom joined us. Like me and Londa, Katie is not a new mom in her twenties . . . we clicked. I hate to call us the "older" moms, but the reality is, we are! Soon, it was just me, Kate and Londa getting together with our kids . . . maybe it will work. The others stopped coming altogether.

I still feel a bit like a play group failure . . . like maybe if I had done something different at that first play group, it would have worked out. But my head tells me that even play groups can't be forced. Either you have chemistry or you don't. And just because we had kids the same age, did not mean we would bond. I realized that it takes more than a child to make a play group. What has worked for the rest of us is that we are close in age and have similar interests. We have some similar life experiences. And, yes, our kids are the same age.